Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize