ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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