Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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