Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
