South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
