I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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