i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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