bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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