Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
