I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's never too late to be topless.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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