just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
