you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
