im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
