running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
