R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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