I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
