I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need moral support for this bender
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
