Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
we're so committed to being not committed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
