don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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