She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
