this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
