Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
