My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
