p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
