Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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