My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
