i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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