He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
