One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
