Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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