I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
