your parents love me but you hate me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Drake has all the answers
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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