can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
