apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
