I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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