It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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