i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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