I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
