It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
