I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize