Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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