Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
