you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Is it penis luge time yet?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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