they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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