think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
