Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
