It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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