she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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