Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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