Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
