i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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