Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
