oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
