Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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