I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
