You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
