We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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