i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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