God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
