No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
