I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
