it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
