so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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