3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
