He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
