oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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