u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
